Wednesday, April 04, 2012

MFI Miami: Hey JPMorgan Chase, If You Keep Calling Me, NAMBLA Is Going to Love You

LOL! Under the Webster's Dictionary for the definition of dysfunctional, Chase's logo should be next to the definition. You would think that JP Morgan Chase would get a clue and stop calling. This is an example why major banks like Chase is too big to fail and need to be broken up!
A dear Jamie letter from MFI Miami:

April 3, 2012

Dear Jamie Dimon,

I know you’re a busy guy like me, so I will make this letter short and to the point.

Three years ago, I did an investigation for a client who had a loan being serviced by Chase Home Finance. I did the report and handed it to her attorney in April of 2009. I have not spoke to this client since then.

Since that time, I have received 15 calls a week on my cell phone from JPMorgan Chase asking for this client. I have to continually tell the person calling me that they have the wrong number for this client and to remove me from their database. Of the hundreds of Chase customer service people I have spoke with and who appear to be calling from a far off land, nearly all of them have assured me my phone number would be removed from the file. The removal of my name has not happened and this morning alone I have received two more calls from JPMorgan Chase asking for this client.

Since your employees that call me apparently lack a command of the English language, I am providing you with the phrase, “Quit Calling Me” in several languages that would cover nearly all of your employees:

German: Ruft mich verlassen!

Greek: κλείστε μου τηλεφωνείς (kleíste mou tilefoneís)

Spanish: Deja de llamarme!

Italian: Smettere di chiamarmi!

French: Quitter m’appeler!

Hindi: मुझे फोन छोड़ने के (mujhē phōna chōṛanē kē)

Portugese: Parar de me chamar!

Swahili: Kuacha simu mimi!

Tagalog: itigil ang pagtawag sa akin

Now your employees have no excuse to keep calling me.

Since being nice has gotten me nowhere and wasted a lot of my time, I’m going to attempt to give you some incentive and hopefully motivation to remove me from your database once and for all.

Since JPMorgan Case and the companies it has acquired have a history of financially molesting homeowners, I have decided that it would be appropriate to donate $10 cash in your name and JPMorgan Chase’s name to the pro-pedophilla group, NAMBLA, the National Man/Boy Love Association for every phone call I receive from JPMorgan Chase about this client from this day forward.

If you’re unfamiliar with NAMBLA, I have attached a link below that will enlighten you to their cause: Just be clear and fair, NAMBLA should not be confused with the North American Marlon Brando Look Alikes.

I’m sorry if this incentive to the institution you run may seem juvenile but it appears to be the only way to get JPMorgan Chase’s attention since your employees seem to love my website, I get at least 100 vists a week from JPMorgan servers.


Steve Dibert

President, MFI-Miami

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