From grey poupon to 99 cent mustard, the spending lovefest is over for lobbyists.

I'm beside myself choking back my tears, Bob....

From TPMmuckraker:

In the wake of the Jack Abramoff and Duke Cunningham prosecutions, the story went, lobbyists were now shifty-eyed, hunted creatures. Suddenly their every move was suspect. Even an innocent campaign contribution could be construed as a crime.

But, with the Republican Congress in power, the reforms never came. And all in all, 2006 was a banner year for lobbyists. According to Political Money Line, special interests spent nearly $2.6 billion on lobbying last year, $229 million more than 2005.

But now the reforms have come, courtesy of the Democratic Congress. And while it's unclear whether they will really change the culture of Washington, one thing is clear: they will make lobbying a lot less fun.

No gifts, no meals, no sports tickets, no trips from lobbyists are allowed anymore. And breaking that ban could land a lobbyist with up to five years in prison. Witness, courtesy of The New York Times, what a sad state this has put influence peddling in:

....[W]orse still for [veteran lobbyist H. Stewart Van Scoyoc], under the new law he is required to certify each quarter that none of the 50 lobbyists in his firm bought so much as a burger or cigar for someone on a lawmaker’s staff....

Another lobbyist recently scaled back the menu at a breakfast briefing for lawmakers, offering bagels and cream cheese instead of ham and eggs. The rules permit lobbyists to provide refreshment of “only nominal value.” The House ethics committee guidelines suggest “light appetizers and drinks, or soda and cookies,” a standard that is known as “the toothpick test.”....

Lobbyists complain that Congress is unfairly punishing them for the misdeeds of its own members, not to mention ruining the social lives of innocent and underpaid staff members.

“All those people who grew up in the system — who aren’t evil-doers, just good people — used to be able to entertain and have fun,” lamented Jim Ervin, a veteran military industry lobbyist.

No more sushi (a favorite of ex-Rep. Bob Ney's, a "sushiholic"), no more well-done filet mignon (Duke Cunningham's preference), not even ham and eggs. Bagels (and probably plain ones at that). How's a lobbyist supposed to get anything done?

Yup, and no Twinkies, Twix candy bars, or free hookers...