Near-amnesia Reaching Epidemic Proportions, Experts Say
An "unprecedented epidemic of memory loss" is afflicting America's politicians, making it virtually impossible for them to remember key phone conversations, meetings, and memos, a spokesman for the world's leading brain scientists said today.
The spokesman, Dr. Hiroshi Kyosuke of the University of Tokyo, is one of over four hundred eminent brain scientists who have gathered in Oslo, Norway this week for a high-level research conference to probe the recent phenomenon of memory loss that has plagued the nation's politicians.
"The question at hand is this: why are politicians so good at remembering contributors' names and phone numbers but so bad at remembering everything else?" Dr. Kyosuke said.
Over the course of the conference, brain scientists have presented research papers on a variety of subjects related to memory loss, such as former New York mayor Rudolph Giuliani's inability to remember a briefing he received about former police commissioner Bernard Kerik's possible ties to organized crime.
"That seems like the sort of thing that a normal human brain would have no difficulty remembering," Dr. Kyosuke said. "What we are learning at this conference is that when it comes to politicians' brains, we have so much more to learn."
On Monday, a full day of the conference was devoted to a paper entitled, "The Neuroscience of Scooter Libby," followed by a keynote address given by Attorney General Alberto Gonzales.While many attendees considered Mr. Gonzales' speech a highpoint of the conference, the Attorney General offered a different assessment: "I have no recollection of it." Elsewhere, President Bush said he would devote the remainder of his term to fighting global warming, adding, "April Fools!"
Andy Borowitz writes a daily humor column at www.borowitzreport.com and is the author of a new book, The Republican Playbook.
LOL!
3 comments:
And of course, the Gerbil can't learn from Ahmadinejad.
Rule #1 of leadership: A leader admits to his or her mistakes. And a leader learn to resolves issues and build a relationship.
The Gerbil looked like an ass to the world when he took sides in both countries and decided to interfere in both countries affairs which had nothing to do with the U.S.
Convienent memory loss.
Ahmadinejad does look like the adult here. When is our WH going to grow up?
"When is our WH going to grow up?"
You have a point, Chicago Native. The WH and their decorum toward international leaders are shameless and a bit immature. We are supposed to the strongest nation around the country in leadership and resources and we have town drunk and nimrod representative of this country that turned 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue into romper room?
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