The Hangover" and "Old School" director Todd Phillips has been spotted dating socialite Paris Hilton. Knowing Phillips, he'll make a sex tape with Hilton, and then remake the exact same sex tape two years later. (And for some reason, Zach Galifianakis will be there.)
Jay Leno did the unthinkable when he made an "Is this thing on?" joke after a monologue dig that compared Casey Anthony's jurors to President Obama's economic team fell totally flat. On the other hand, this may be the first time anyone's paid attention to "The Tonight Show" since Leno took it back.
Like a lot of people, Kim Kardashian tweeted outrage that Casey Anthony was found not guilty for murdering her daughter. Unlike a lot of people, however, the only reason Kim Kardashian is famous is because her father made millions as an attorney for clients such as, say, O.J. Simpson. The Internet did not let this slide.
GOP presidential hopeful Rick Santorum blasted President Obama on CNN for creating "only 240 million jobs" since he took office -- not the 280 million that Santorum believes Obama promised. Frankly, if Santorum thinks that the Obama administration has created a cripplingly low 240 million jobs (in a country whose entire population is around 300 million), we need to elect him stat.
Chase Bank had a 28-year-old construction worker arrested for trying to deposit what they believed was a fake check. But the check was a real rebate check from... Chase Bank. While he was in jail, the worker's car was auctioned because he couldn't pay the impound fee while his check was being cleared. Even worse? Without a car he couldn't get to work and was subsequently fired. Reason number 9,485 to despise banks.
A city councilman in Minnesota, LeRoy Schaffer, has resigned after investigators discovered that he sent himself a fake bomb in the mail to generate sympathy from the public. "There's a lot of people out there that want to kill me, that's why I sent it to myself," Schaffer reportedly said. Airtight logic, you guys. Air. Tight.
People are claiming T-shirts sold by a chapter of the Kentucky Tea Party that read "Yup, I'm A Racist" are "ironic" and "satirical." Because if there's one thing the Tea Party is known for, it's their highbrow racial humor, such as "Let's Compare President Obama To A Monkey, Again" and "How Come We Can't Say The N Word Whenever We Want, 'Cause Of Free Speech And Stuff?"
The Casey Anthony trial was like Christmas for HLN host Nancy Grace, who has made a career out of sensationalizing crimes committed against photogenic children. When Anthony was found not guilty, witnessing Grace's self-righteous reaction was like watching a child find out that Santa Claus isn't real, if Santa Claus was acquitted of homicide also.
The Bachmanns are quickly becoming our new favorite political family. Michele delivered the goods this week by agreeing with the statement that African-American children were better off as slaves, but why didn't she ever tell us about her husband Marcus's belief that gays are "barbarians" who need to be "disciplined"? How dare they keep all that crazy to themselves.
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