Satire: Multiple GOP Senators put hold on first dog nomination

TPM Cafe:

The nomination of Bo, a 6-month old Portuguese Water dog to be America's First Dog has been put on hold by at least 39-Republican Senators. None of these Senators will reveal themselves but the Hill is rife with speculation.

A senate aid who is not authorized to speak on the record expressed concern that Bo is not fully house trained, "Just what we need, some Socialist dog peeing on the Constitution or chewing up the Bill Of Rights." "And, who cleans up the first poop, the Secret Service?"

Another anonymous aid chimed in, "Bo, what does that stand for, Bolshevik?"

Other concerns include, will the taxpayer be stuck paying for Bo's food and grooming, and has he paid all his taxes? An addled aid added, "the financial disclosure questionnaires of Obama administration nominees were being scrutinized because of the number of tax problems that have emerged."

First daughters, Sasha, 7, and Malia, 10, are reported to be heartbroken. "It will give the girls character," an authoritarian southern senator is quoted saying, "it's about time them there girls growed up."

Senator Kennedy's office was contacted for this report, "This is just a ploy by the Republicans to get the president to drop from his agenda issues like, health care, job creation, education, and a middle-class tax cut," an aid to the senator told us.

Rush Limbaugh said on his radio show, today, "Portuguese. The dog is Portuguese. For all we know he's an illegal alien, and, you got it folks, a Muslim. I demand to see his papers"

The Republican stalling tactics are prompting some to call for a full investigation of Barney Gate when President Bush`s dog Barney, an 8-year old Scottish terrier bit Reuters reporter Jon Decker`s right index finger. Decker claims that he still has no feeling in the finger and is having "scary nightmares." Decker has put in a disability claim against the Federal Government.

President Obama's office was reached and is fully confident that Bo will be confirmed, and introduced to the American people on schedule, Tuesday. "Bo will make a fine, First Dog, one America will be very proud of." The White House did deny rumors that Bo has been trained to identify massively partisan Republican (MPR's). "Yes we could have but there is no point, that's just who they are."

When asked about Bo's confermation problem at his daily briefing, White House Press Secretary, Robert Gibbs answered, "This is just a tempest in a proverbial teapot, now if the Republicans were threatening to "Tea Bag" the White House then we would be concerned."