EdWørds!

Crooks and Liars:

Former Democratic presidential candidate John Edwards took over the Wørd segment from Stephen Colbert to discuss the all important demographic in this election: white, male voters. And who better to talk about their values than Edwards?

You know, Stephen, you’re right about white males playing an important part in this election. Their votes are being courted as a demographic tiebreaker between these two tough candidates and no white male’s vote is being courted more vigorously than this one. [points to self]
It is no secret that both campaigns have sought my support. So far, I haven’t decided which of these excellent candidates I’m going to endorse. On the one hand, I don’t want to be seen as anti-hope. On the other hand, I don’t want James Carville to bite me. So who? Who am I going to vote for in the next to the last primary, North Carolina? Well, I’ll support whoever presents a platform that’s consistent with my values. I’ll support the candidate who’ll raise the federal minimum wage. Someone who’ll fight for the 37 million Americans who wake up in poverty every day. Somebody who’ll protect the interest of working families. Also, I’d like a jet-ski.


Meanwhile:


Stephen Colbert “praises” ABC for a great debate
Unlike most in the media and blogosphere, Stephen thinks Gibsonopoulos did a heckuva job at ABC’s Democratic debate.

Last night was the Pennsylvania Democratic debate on ABC. It was the most exciting verbal sparring held in Philadelphia since Ben Franklin haggled with an 18th century pimp. The night was a huge success. To begin with, for moderator, ABC courageously chose George Stephanopoulos, who owes his career to the fact that he was Bill Clinton’s Communications Director. So he was objective, in the sense that everyone knew his bias. Listen to how he went after Sen. Clinton about a conversation where she said Obama couldn’t win the general election.

I’m not going to ask about that conversation; I know you don’t want to talk about it.
She doesn’t want to talk about it. Enough said. Let’s move on. Besides, it would have taken away time from asking Obama this:

Do you think Rev. Wright loves America as much as you do?

He followed up with the equally pressing question “Could God create a rock so heavy that He Himself could not know you’re a secret Muslim?”