Next new candidate for Prez... Open Thread.

Ralph Wiggum's Political Platforms:

Immigration - "Stranger danger!"

Government Spending - "I only have this much moneys."

Party Politics - "Everyone is invited to my party!"

Slogan - "I Dig the Wig"

Ethics - "I'm Ralph Wiggum and I've been a good boy."

Political Appointments - Bart Simpson as the Secretary of Indian Burns and Lisa Simpson as his First Ladle

Foreign Relations - "When we're mad we'll use our words. Then the rest of the world will play nice with us. And the only boom-booms will be in our pants."




For those political junkies watching the Republican presidential debate on Fox News Channel or otherwise occupied Sunday night, you missed a hilarious "The Simpsons" send-up of the campaign that made fun of candidates, the political parties, New Hampshire voters, the media -- just about everyone.




Plot summary: Homer, lighting a cigar after finishing one last splurge before starting his New Year's diet, accidentally causes a natural gas explosion that destroys Springfield's fast-food row. Not wanting to go without Krusty burgers, the townspeople decide to hold a bond election as soon as possible -- which means moving up their presidential primary ahead of New Hampshire. The candidates and media hordes descend on Springfield, which is in neighboring Vermont -- if you go by the town the producers picked for "The Simpsons Movie" premiere last year.
Highlight: An animated Bill Clinton character is pounding a "Hillary" sign into a yard and complains to a screaming voice on his cellphone about how many more he has to do. "What did I ever do to you?" he implores. More screeching from the cellphone, apparently including the words Monica Lewinsky. He says something along the lines of, "You're never going to let me forget that are you?"


The people of Springfield quickly grow weary of all the attention, and in rebellion decide to support the most ridiculous candidate they can envision. At Moe's tavern, someone suggests Dennis Kucinich. Ouch, since he's actually a real candidate in the Democratic race. A pint-size Kucinich character happens to be in the bar and complains that he's being dissed.


Finally, they settle on 8-year-old Ralph Wiggum, the not-too-bright son of the police chief. Lisa, of course, is mortified. "Oh, dear God," she exclaims. But eventually she comes around, after Ralph talks about helping people and making sure the US plays nice and doesn't fight anymore with foreign countries.


Both the Democratic and Republican parties also decide to support Ralph, who at show's end is sitting on the knee of the Lincoln Memorial in Washington like he's Santa Claus, telling Honest Abe, "I've been a good boy."